Speaking of fat people - which is what I've been discussing most of the morning on my Facebook page, I have spent my entire life fighting the chub. Most of the women in my biological family tree have also fought the battle of 20 extra pounds over large portions of their lives. People who like to say it's not genetic to be overweight are just blind and stubborn. My daughter, for example, takes after her father's side of the family (thank God for that mercy to her life), and has never shown any sign of tending toward chubbiness. She is as slender and healthy as I could hope. She eats candy from time to time. She is allowed a soda periodically. When we have a family dessert, which isn't every night by any stretch, she is given a portion. Like most children in our culture and tax bracket, she is very familiar with Happy Meals, but she doesn't get one every day - or even every week. These statements are all true for her and they were all equally true for me at her age. I was a chubby kid by the time I was 7. My daughter is not.
Both of my parents, both of my grandmothers, two of my four great-grandmothers, and all but one of my biologically-related aunts led periods of life struggling with weight...and a few of these relatives were just plain fat (photos of one of my great-grandmothers show a woman of at least 300 pounds). For my daughter, only one of her parents (me) has any family history of becoming overweight. Every single relative I've found information about on her paternal side has been slender. In old photographs from the early 20th century, there are family groups from my husband's side at weddings that show an entire family group of 15 or more people and none of them were overweight. Today, almost all of his relatives are living at healthy weights. My daughter takes physically after her father. She is shaped like him and resembles him and physically carries herself like him. Like I said, praise God for that mercy in her life.
Sure, this is anecdote, but it's my anecdote, and it's not anywhere near unique. Don't try to convince me that the reason I've never been a size four has nothing to do with my genes and everything to do with my fork. It's simply obtuse and inaccurate to hold that view.
Genetics is HUGE in issues of body shape and size. Not everyone will be slim when they are eating optimally and living a healthy life. It's true. The fact that our society cannot accept that is befuddling to me. It's been true throughout the history of the world and, yet, modern man cannot grasp it.
All that being said, one does not have to accept being fat, either. A healthy body weight is attainable for everyone, no matter the genetic handicap score. For some of us, that healthy body weight will be harder to achieve and harder to maintain, but it's not a fantasy proposition for anyone. I know this because I have enjoyed several years of my life at a healthy size...and I felt very healthy during those periods.
About 8 years ago, I was in the shape of my life. I was relatively slender, had great muscle tone and strength, and I was active. Since then, I've put on about 30 pounds. I am not obese, but I am pretty chubby and clearly need to lose a stone or two. This gain happened over time, and I can't point to one event or period when it all happened because it was very gradual. It would be easy to blame the weight on my pregnancy and the birth of my daughter, but it would be horribly disingenuous, too. I lost all of my pregnancy weight less than 8 weeks after she was born. No, becoming a mother didn't make me fat. Chronic back pain, a short bout of depression in which I stopped exercising altogether, and constant anxiety between 2003 and 2006 during Ashley's Iraqi war deployments did the trick. I became sedentary, I didn't eat less to compensate for that, and I occasionally ate more. I ate more convenience food and did less cooking. My body chemistry changed because of constant anxiety, pain, and mental lethargy. SO here I am. As an example for contrast, a friend of mine who has always been slim through her genetic predisposition lived through this time with me. We ate almost all of our meals together, suffered the same anxieties and stressors, and had similar exercise-to-calories eaten ratios. She gained about half of the weight that I did. This didn't shock either of us because we know what all women know: genes matter in body shape and size.
I am no longer suffering any of those things that led to my weight gain, but I still have this 8 year-old weight sitting on my body, and I want to get rid of it, now. I am veggie. I am reviving my regular exercise habits of old. My back pain is neither so frequent nor so unmanageable as it once was. My knees are starting to suffer, which is more motivation to get crackin' on this. I also have an old, lovely, and darling friend who sells Arbonne products. I loved the skincare stuff because it's vegan and it makes my face really soft, but then I found out they have diet supplements and shakes, too. I used to like the whole SlimFast type of deal for kick-starting a habit of eating less, but all of those things tend to use dairy protein. Not Arbonne! So I bought it, and I'm in business. If it's great stuff, I will let you know. Even when I sit at a healthy weight, I do not look like a Barbie. I look nice, and I have my own kind of prettiness. I like the way I look when I'm healthy just fine, but no matter how hard I work, I will never look as good as someone with a great genetic profile can without even trying. Them's the breaks.
For now...just remember to be grateful rather than smug if you don't have to work at being slim. Many people with rockin' bodies work their butts off to get that way, and they have my ultimate respect. If you're not working daily to maintain that healthy body weight, though, then you are the grand contest winner in the game of genetics. Trust me, if you don't actively work at being slender and fit, then you didn't get that way because you just naturally eat the right amounts and types of foods unlike "those fat people." No, you should be more thankful on a daily basis....and you should also have your cholesterol checked. I'm just putting that out there. My friend who gained alongside me 8 years ago has also been working to take off her extra weight. She looks great, and I'm confident she will manage it. She's now a mother of six, so she's got plenty to keep busy with! Maybe I should get her the Arbonne weight loss stuff, too, and we could compare notes. :)
The point I suppose I want to make is this: Be nice to fat people. They're not all fat because of what you think. Degrading them or reviling them is beneath you and totally unhelpful in turning the obesity problem around. Every fat person in possession of his mental faculties KNOWS that he is fat. You don't have to point it out or smugly assume that you know how to "save" him. The issue is far more complex than the fork...but the fork is always the best and first place to start.
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